One of the most helpless feelings you will ever experience occurs when someone you love is crushed beneath the weight of grief. If you have not suffered with a family or a friend in this setting, hang on. You will. How you personally prepare for grief can make the difference in your ability to minister.
Eventually, death comes to every household. Being present during an expression of fresh and quivering grief is heart rending. Few can be in that setting and remain unmoved. If you are a pastor, teacher, or good friend, the moment may find you ministering to a grief stricken family AND grieving personally.
I walked through the final days with Leroy. He was one of the Deacons with whom I served and we had become great friends. Hospice care had been arranged and I had made it a point to stop by his home and visit for a few minutes each day. In the late evening hours I was called to the house for what would be the final visit. When the moment of his passing came, I stood ready to minister to a room full of grieving family but was completely unprepared for the tidal wave of my own grief. Since then, I have shared moments of grief with many others but the lessons I learned in Leroy’s den stick with me to this day.
1. Grief is unavoidable.
- It is beneficial to grieve loss.
- Grief is a gut level response. No words are powerful enough to short circuit this life altering moment.
- That death even exists is the result of sin; a tragedy of the highest order.
2. Grieving acknowledges our separation.
- Separation removes a physical presence from our day. The touch of a husband or wife, the smile of a child, the advice of a friend are all irreplaceable.
- Separation from someone who loves us is life-altering.
- Separation heightens the anticipation of a heavenly reunion.
3. Grieving reflects upon our connection.
- We finally attribute full and honest value to the relationship.
- We reflect upon the personal impact that was made by the deceased.
- In some cases, your grief may be focused more for the loved ones left behind than for the deceased. In that case, you tend to grieve because of the pain you see in them.
4. Grieving reminds us of our own preparation.
- In grieving the loss of a friend or loved one we flinch at the sting of death.
- Few times in life will men and women reflect more upon their own life and death than in a time of grief.
- Life is short. The survival rate of any given generation is zero. Prepare urgently! Love lavishly!
5. Grief is addressed best by love.
- Your loving presence will say far more than your words. Close your mouth. Just share their air.
- Prayerfully, ask for the comfort of the Holy Spirit. Intercession is one of the highest expressions of love.
- Walk the path of grief with them. Directions are cheap. A shared journey is priceless.
While in seminary, I attended a fellowship led by a very high profile pastor. He was nationally known. Though noted for his incredible preaching style and dynamic delivery, it soon became obvious that genuine TAWG was lacking. I admit that I was caught up in that electrified environment. For a time, it was an incredible place to be! However, the height of excitement plummeted into sickening scandal. That’s the thing about TAWG; you can come clean before Him, or you can be exposed by Him.
A Wise Celebration: The Christ of Christmas
Photo courtesy of iStockphoto.com/DaydreamsGirl
That Jesus Christ was born in the manner described in scripture is an inescapable conclusion, but is it an event that we should commemorate? The assertion by some that we should refrain from celebrating His birth, especially a Christmas observance, is an opinion with little basis in God’s word. As a matter of fact, rejecting the idea is itself out of line with scripture.
Angels, shepherds, the Magi, and even the Creator himself marked the event with much fanfare. Shepherds were invited by angels to attend the birth celebration. An angelic praise fest and a new star cannot be considered minimal or inconsequential. In short, a celebration with attendees from heaven and earth most certainly did occur at God’s behest.
So, how does the absence of a Biblical command to celebrate the birth of the Savior equate the prohibition of the same?
To discourage or even prohibit a memorial celebration of this magnitude, based upon anything other than a “thus saith the LORD” violates the very guideline that I was taught in my childhood. “Speak where the Bible speaks, be silent where the Bible is silent”, was the mantra that I heard early and often. However, this was not the only reason cited. The Christmas observance was not a part of the first century tradition, on which grounds some would reject it. The argument that it should be avoided because we cannot know if it is the actual date, has no precedent in the pages of scripture but emanates from the rationale of man. So likewise does the argument that it may be “denominational” in nature.
Students of the stars saw THE star which called their attention to the birth of the King of kings. They made their way to the child born in Bethlehem. The modern approach to Christmas is man-made to be sure, but it is the one season when men are openly reminded of the birth of a Savior. The star may have indicated where the child lay, but it also fired the starter’s pistol which moved pagan men to find Christ. Maybe if we spent more time using the celebration of Christmas as an opportunity to meet at the manger, we might just lead a few to the cross.
Criticize it if you want, but scripture is clear; “he that winneth souls is wise.” To reject a globally recognized opportunity to call all men to Jesus on the basis of arguments so intrinsically unscriptural, is anything BUT wise.
By the way, if you insist on rejecting the celebration of Christ’s birth, stop with the gifts and any observance of the holiday. It presents a bit of a hypocritical problem to indulge in the celebration of the season but completely reject the historical significance.